Awful Website Archive
After years of mocking awful Sega fans sites on the net my "list" as I like to call it has become far too long to continue to post all the awful sites on one page. I've created this old archive page to store all the rants about sites that are now gone, updated, deleted, or simply weren't all that awful to begin with. Most of those old rants are still a bit funny but in the case of most of them there is simply no longer a website to refrence to understand my complaint. I've tried to link most of them to an archive of the website if I could but many sites are simply completely gone and even those sites that do have an archive usually aren't complete. You can read through this page if you really want to but its likely to be boring. You won't see Jumpkick Jones here punching ghosts in the crotch or anything.
Those of you who have read this far into my awful sites page know that there are only a few exceptions for which I will add a non-Sega realted website to my list. In this case I'm making an exception because the people who run this website are some of the biggest idiots in the entire universe. Lets not forget they are lazy, know next to nothing about making an attractive webpage design, hang out with homosexuals, have no taste in video games at all and have yet to actually add anything the least bit funny to their shitty website. Oh, and the owner of the site is Terence Klugman who has been in three mental hospitals in the last six months.
Now, I could create an entire website about how retarded this group of dicks are but I think this screen shot of a post on their forums sums the whole thing up rather well:
I was tempted to use a screen shot of Terence Klugman's slutty girl friend complaining about how nobody eats doughnuts anymore by pointing out that if she ever ate a doughnut her skinny body would have a huge lump sticking out of her abdomen like when a snake eats a mouse. But considering that the people "working" for this site spend more time fighting on the forums than anything else I just assumed that someone else would point that out sooner or later.
Oh, and before I forget to mention it: Its never a good sign when your webmaster thinks your ads are more interesting than the actual website content.
The best images MSpaint can manage...
Although today was my first visit to this awful website, it would seem I have quite a history with one of their staff memebers.
Years ago this fellow contacted me under the name "Jackie the Nightmarebitch" or something like that, and told me my site sucked and sonic was great. "Why?" I asked. Apparently his/her logic was that my site had a few spelling errors on it and therefore my opinion was clearly invalid. Those of you who have read my FAQ page can guess what I thought of that breed of logic and, long story short, I blocked his email account to put an end to the debate.
But for him/her/it the debate didn't end there. For this person the quest had to go on. I just couldn't be allowed to go on telling my poorly spelled opinions to just anyone. I had to be stopped. So to this day Jackie has continued to bitch about me and my website each and every time I've been mentioned on The Sega.com Boards and still won't let anyone forget I mispelled a few words once upon a time. Its actually fairly amazing he has the time to continue to bitch about me when hes usually oh-so-very busy starting threads about topics like: Changing his name and threatening to quit the boards, his hate mail to Something Awful and just being a general pain in the ass by starting huge flame wars every time someone says anything the least bit negative about Sega or Sonic.
But apparetly on one of his times when he had "quit" the Sega.com boards (for all of five minutes or so) he went off and joined this website. Or so he claimed anyway. I can't find any sign here that hes actually still doing anything for this site or that he ever did. However, that may have alot to do with the fact I really can't tell ANYTHING about this website at all right now. At first glance it seems they may have pulled a Cmikeska and deleted their content but the actual issue is they are too cheap to pay for a domain name.
No domain name? No problem for these guys. They just gypsy their way from one fly by night free site to the next. The result? Their site gets deleted every time one of these upstart companies goes out of business or has a server crash. Heres one of their old web hosts and as you can see they obviously got their site rather outrageously deleted. Europeans were even involved somehow it would seem.
Guys, First of all, give up the spelling arguement. If the only arguement you can come up with to defend Sonic is to make fun of my spelling, well, it kind of makes it obvious you have no arguement at all. Second of all, GET A FUCKING DOMAIN NAME. Seriously, you can afford to spend hundreds of dollars on Sonic games every year but $15 for a domain name is too much? Thats just dumb.
To get an idea of how stupid this webpage actually is all you have to do is look at his copyright information at the bottom of the site:
"Copyright ©1985, 1986, Sunnz Web, suNnz.net. All rights reserved."
Now obviously this site hasn't been up since 1985 or else he would actually have finished putting up more content than he has by now. Its also clearly not 1986 annymore since hes got a Dreamcast page and the DC was released in 1999. Is he saying that I can steal whatever I want from his page because its not 1986 anymore? Maybe he just didn't care to keep updating the copyright info being that there nothing here worth stealing anyway.
Even though on his Dreamcast page he says "It was not doing very well because Sega didn't give it enough financial support. Now Sega have pulled out and they are a 3rd party software developer" this apparently didn't convince him enough that the Dreamcast wasn't worth putting up a site for because he went and put up one for it anyway. Granted he was too lazy to do anything beyond putting up some cheats for 18 Wheeler. I don't even understand why anyone would want to play 18 Wheeler anyway. My friends and I always laugh at that game when we see it in the arcade at the theater down the street from my house. One timeWhile waiting for our movie to start we has a choice of playing 18 Wheeler or playing a really awful game where guys with guns fight ninjas who only get swords. We played the Ninja game.
Another annoying thing he does is that he has some dumbass script that keeps you from right clicking on things on his page. This may be to keep people from stealing his lame graphics but I found it when I was trying to copy and paste in his copyright information. What he obviously doesn't know is that this not only pisses people off but also can be easily turned off just by setting your Browser to not use java scripts. Also it doesn't prevent people from stealing your graphics because when you load a page all the graphics on it get downloaded to your temporary internet files anyway where you can get at them easily.
UPDATE: After I posted his site here on the Awful Sites page the owner of this site sent me the following Email:
From:
"sonnymorgan" <sonnymorgan@iprimus.com.au>
To: <segaslayer@hotmail.com>
Date: Sun, 22 Jun 2003 18:57:45 +0800
HI BRO I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL JUST DO A LITTLE MORE RESEACH YOULL
FIND OUT HOW REAL WE ARE
To be honest I don't recall ever having called him, his site or any one who visits his site an illusion or some kind of fake but he apparently thinks I did because hes asking me to do some research to discover just how "REAL" he is. Despite the fact I have no clue what hes really asking me to do here I checked on his site one more time just to see if I missed something the first time. It turns out I did actually miss two things which I do now have to give him credit for:
1. The Dreamcast site which he never finished is not even posted on the main page.
2. Hes well aware that the Dreamcast is dead.
These 2 things mean I can't really call him an awful Sega website anymore. BUT I can still call his website awful! Just because he doesn't have a dreamcast page anymore doesn't excuse his stupid script to disable right clicking or the fact that his copyright info is jacked up and he hasn't ever finished a single section on his website.
I should probably also mention something I forgot about before. His "Guestbook" is not actually a guestbook at all! Its quite clearly a forum. In addition to it being a forum its also clearly not a very popular forum because my post about him being a lazy jerk managed to become one of his "Most Talk About" posts on his forum with only 2 replys as you can see from the shot below:
Update: 05/13/05
This guy seems to have pulled a Cmikeska and totally deleted his website and replaced it with a bunch of totally random crap.
Not usually awful enough to metntion but this was another request so here we go.
Not only is dreamcast junkies a tripod site but also a yahoo "group". Tripod is pretty bad but I've honestly never been a big fan of Yahoo. I would have joined the group just to see what it was about but the wise guys at Yahoo geocities decided to delete my account! But of course we already know that because I had to move my site over it.
The overall design of the site doesn't look bad but there a number of things that bug me about it none the less. On my 1024x768 MISE 5.5 with a cable internet connection it looked like part of the page didn't expand all the way to the edge of the browser window. It hard to explain the bug I suppose but if your on a PC with 1024x768 display then you should see it as well. I'm guessing this is due to the site being designed for dreamcast. Another thing that is really a pain in the ass is attempting to navigate around the site. On the index page he has a drop down menu that can direct you to any of his other pages on the site. However this drop down menu is the ONLY way I can see to reach most of the pages and its only on the index. So once you go to one of his pages you have to go back to the index to view another page. Again maybe this is a Dreamcast thing but its a pain in the ass for PC users. There is also loud music playing on every page but its not quite as loud as most sites are.
But like I said the design isn't awful. The content on the other hand is getting there.
Hes got a page for something called Ch@b. I had no idea what this was so I asked somebody I knew used dreamcast. Apparently its some kind of japanese chat system. Bizzare. To bad it doesn't work on my PC or I could have called up some poor Dreamcast user from his list and shouted at them.
He has an MIDI page. He has only one MIDI from a video game and its not from a Dreamcast game. Not even from a Sega game. Its from Super Mario Borthers.
He has a NASA TV page. Apparently this allows you to watch NASA on TV or something. Maybe this is another Dreamcast thing but nothing happened when I viewed the page.
I had some fun with his "edit web images" page. I didn't want to come up with an image to edit myself so I just plugged in the URL of an image on his site. Heres what I made out of it:
As you can see not only was I bored but the image editor probably isn't exactly the most useful thing on the face of the earth.
That image is pretty bad but not quite as bad as the worst page on his site which just happens to be my favorite as well. His "WHO IS DIMENTO" page has more long winded bragging than I've seen in one place since before Mr.CMikeska deleted his FAQ to stop me from bitching about it all the time. He talks for 2 pages about all sorts of things which I'm pretty sure are atleast 80% untrue. On the other hand this page has numerous pictures of nearly nude hot chicks which makes it by far the best page on the entire site. Keep up the good work Dimento!
Lots of lame graphics that look like they were made with mspaint.
Lame content and terrible layout as well.
You can stop the music...BUT NOTHING CAN STOP THE FLASHING BACKGROUND!
This site is actually not that bad but the flashing background is really giving me a headache!
Update: 05/13/05
I'm sorry to say this website is gone which kind of sucks because it was my favorite awful website. Of all the sites on the internet I would rate this one as being the most likely to give seziures to children. I have updated the link to take you to an archive of the site but the background does not flash. I'm so sad I feel like a clown just died or something...
This site hasn't been updated since 9.9.99. I guess he got a Dreamcast and found how much it sucks so he stopped updating his site.
Another funny thing is on his links page where hes got a link to "Dreamcast Weekly" which is now a page with ads for various PC parts. MUAHAHAH!!
Lots of lame pictures of stupid looking Sonic characters. At first I thought maybe he hadn't updated in years because theres no mention of the dreamcast but he does talk about Sonic GBA games which is a recent thing so I'm not really sure.
Bob the Rocket Knight's Spiffy Sega Genesis/Megadrive Page
No graphics, no color, just text. He claims his site is the only currently updated megadrive site on the net but that rather obviously isn't true. His site isn't currently updated either.
THE SONIC POWER RING VERSION 3
Awful stolen Sonic graphics everywhere. The site seems to be about a bunch of stupid old Sonic based TV shows that nobody would watch now days.
Also has a "History of Sonic" page that seems to be a list of every Sonic related product ever sold muost of wich I wish I had never heard of. Did you know there was even a "Sonic Cola" drink that tasted like crap? He rather obviously stole most of the info from vidoegames.com. The "History of Sonic" Graphic at the top of the page was made by vidoegames.com for an artice of the same name.
His "nit picks" page claims to be about Emails hes gotten from people who had complaints about his site but the only things posted on it are random emails from people who were mad about their borther feeding their sonic toys to the dog or whatever.
The Hidden Palace - A Sonic the Hedgehog website
A page with an auto forewarding link sends you to a place that doesn't seem to exist anymore. This must be why its called the "hidden" palace.
Annoying java script, ignorant content and lame graphics that sometimes move and flash.
Besides the lame graphics he also has plenty of blurry pictures of old video game platforms which I guess is why he calls this a Museum. Hes obviously Japanese because he uses bad english grammar like "What New?" and "Special Thank" plus he uses all the Japanese names for the systems. Oh and hes doesn't know that Sega sucks either. Theres nothing wrong with being Japanese... you know except that they think rape is okay and all their movies are about Godzilla but hey all their silly cartoons are full of people with huge ass eye balls and killer robots so lets all worship them like they are gods.
"HUOM! SIVUT NÄKYVÄT PARHAITEN RESOLUUTIOLLA 1024*768!"
I'm not sure but its certainly awful. On the enter page the giant image seems to be broken. One the inside of the site he has loud MIDIs and awful grpahics and more of that crap I can't read.
«±§¦°¥°¦§±»}†{The Ðévîménsîöñ}†{«±§¦°¥°¦§±»
The link I got to this site was supposed to be a Phantasy star site. I don't see anything like that here.
This page claims the site has been relocated and I will be directed there in 20 seconds but all that happens is a anglefire pop up ad comes up and the page reloads.
I never clicked the link for the new site. I don't want to know.
Update: 05/13/05
There is actually a site for this at: http://www.devimension.com/ but I have updated the link to connect to an archived version of the zany page describled above.
My computer has been invaded my Quick Time which has taken over Internet Explorer and prevents me from turning off his really really annoying MIDI.
His guest book doesn't exist anymore. Alot of his images don't work anymore. His forum doesn't work anymore. His reviews page only has one review of a shitty Dreamcast game. His previews only has one preview of a shitty dreamcast game. His cheats section only has cheats for three shitty dreamcast games. His links page just has links to a bunch of shitty websites that aren't there anymore and have been replaced by one of those asshole ads that tries to change your homepage some something you have never heard of. To naivgate around his site you have to constantly return to the main page.
And his opinion page... lets just say his opinion sucks.
I have no idea why his site is called this. I'm actually not even sure if that the real title of his site because the title of the page is "Welcome to my FAN created Sega Website" or some such crap.
At a first glance his site actually looks fairly good. The color scheme looks good, he has lots of fancy images moving around and it appears very professional. Then you click on something and it all goes down the toilet.
His own personal news for the site hasn't been updated in 6 months. Aside from that he has links to newer news articles ON OTHER WEBSITES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH SEGA. If you click on one of the side bars to go to one of the other sections of his site your will either be greeted with a message that says hes too lazy to make that section or the section will actually come up and you will wish it hadn't because none of the other pages match the color scheme from his frames which makes the site look like puke.
The worst thing of all might be that he is one of those stupid european gamers who doesn't know Sega sucks because he didn't have to watch the Saturn collapse into a rotting pile of dog shit.
UPDATE: He took his website down because I made fun of it. I guess he learned to make websites at CMikeska's School of Web Design and never fogot Mikes golden rule: "If anyone makes fun of your website, Take it down." Just to teach him that theres no escape from Sega Slayer I've updated the link to connect to an archive of his site.
Wren's Phantasy Star Online Site
Theres a broken image on the enter page and a yahoo search bar for no apparent reason.
When I click on the image it starts some crazy java script that causes a popup ad to come up. Some Phantasy Star site.
The background and the text are the same color and theres nothing here. Nuff said.
It looks like this guy just tried to cram as much content into one since page as he could and his layout is insane because of it. The page didn't load right for me and my vrowser window closed when I tried to play the tic-tac-toe game.
There doesn't seem to be anything about sega anywhere on his site but there are still pictures of Sonic that he stole from other sites all over the place.
DOOM's Gundam and Dreamcast page
EXTREMELY LOUD MIDI stolen from Simcity2000 which was not made for Dreamcast and had nothing to do with Gundam. Lame graphics made with flaming text which I explained about before in the first site on this page.
His content is stupid too.
Not just about Sega but awful anyway.
EXTREMELY LOUD MIDI which is also lame plays on all pages and even the guest book. Bad layout and generally stupid content. Last updated sometime in the year 2000.
EXTREMELY LOUD MIDI, annoying java script, awful color scheme and ignorant layout.
Annoying Java script, awful graphics, pukeworthy content, ignorant layout and awful color scheme.
Some awful website that thinks that Sega is a dance.
Some awful website that thinks Sega is a kind of music gay people listen to or something odd like that.
Update: 05/13/05
The site no longer seems to exist so I've updated the link to take you to an archive of it.